The results? Women wanted their partners to know when they were upset—in fact, the women reported happier when this happened (the men didn’t). The women were also happier when they correctly understood when their partners were upset, rather than happy. The authors behind the study suggest that these results may show that being empathetic to a partner’s negative emotions may feel threatening to the relationship for men, but not for women. Do you see evidence of that in your own relationship? I’ll certainly ponder it next time I find myself asking “but do you really get why I’m upset? Are you sure?” when I’m having a disagreement with my (wonderful, patient) partner.

• Meet Boston Chicks

Sometimes I have hard time letting a relationship quarrel go. I don’t hold a grudge, exactly…but I do sometimes prolong disagreements to make sure I’m being heard and understood. Of course, when I’m upset about something, sometimes this goes down less maturely than I’d like, and just when he thinks our argument is resolved, I jump in for round two. And three. (Do you understand why I’m upset? But do you get it?) But before you criticize, I’ll have you know that science totally has my back on this one. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, empathy makes for a happy relationship…but men and women differ on what they want empathy on.

• MS Top Cities List

John Bradshaw said that the only time we may feel happy and free is when we’re single. Maybe true for many of us. It’s easier. We only have ourselves to be with, but ultimately not as satisfying and without the growth potential of partnering. We are born to connect with others – our biological, emotional urges move us constantly along toward connection with others. Our spiritual desire is toward that of union with another human being; it is the closest we usually get to experiencing Oneness on earth.

• Boston Marriage Service

The Pathwork guide asks, “How can you receive what you long for – love, belonging, communication – if you neither feel nor express the occasional glimpses of feelings that the still healthy part in you strives for? You cannot have it both ways, though the child in you never wants to accept that.” We cannot belong and be loved while we dull our world of feelings into a state of numbness which prohibits us from truly loving others. Core Energetics can help us to feel our deep feelings and transform the pain so that we may be loving and allow love in. Let’s look at the challenges of partnership as the next great adventure of life. Take risks – open up. Feel everything we can possibly feel. And remember, we have choice at every moment. We can choose love over fear every time (well, as much as we dare). We can create love in our life. This is today and we’re adults. Most of us don’t really live with Mommy and Daddy; we just have them internalized. It’s time to let them go and embrace the possibility of now.

• Meet Boston Mature Women

In addition to asking about overall relationship satisfaction, researchers had 156 heterosexual couples describe a recent incident with their partners that was frustrating, disappointing, or upsetting. The couples were asked to try to come to an understanding, in a 10-minute discussion together, of what had happened. The researchers recorded the discussion and then played it back for the couples, asking them to rate their negative and positive emotions throughout.

• Boston Single Girls Images